I've been so 'down' with few things that come to me lately. Things happened for reasons, but i cant to see the real 'reason' till i read this article here.
The kindest and most compassionate thing you can do for yourself and others is to forgive yourself.
We are often told that we should forgive others, the old saying “forgive and forget” is thrown around constantly, so you make an effort to forgive those who you feel have wronged you in some way and you find it almost impossible to do.
Why is that? It is possibly because you have not yet learned how to forgive yourself.
In terms of self-help a better saying to use would be “charity begins at home” or in this case charity begins with self. You cannot freely give to the world that which you do not give to yourself. Just as you cannot truly love someone without first loving yourself, you cannot forgive someone without forgiving yourself.
When you learn to forgive yourself then and only then will you be able to forgive others. Paradoxically though, when you learn to forgive yourself you will in turn find that you have nothing to forgive others for.
When you forgive yourself you let go of a part of yourself, the part that wants to keep you trapped inside a circle of blame, shame, guilt and fear. This part of you, which essentially is part of your ego, does not want you to be free of it because ego does not want to relinquish control. Free yourself from this viscous pattern of behavior for it has the ability to murder your spirit.
It is possible to spend your entire life blaming yourself for this and that, feeling guilty because you did this or that and living in fear of the consequences of this and that. This way of living has you immobilized because you are dwelling in the past (the guilt and blame for what has been) and you cannot enjoy your future (for fear of the consequences of what has been).
There is only on solution, you must give yourself the ultimate gift, the gift of forgiveness.
Self forgiveness is not difficult to master, you only need to simply spend some time thinking over things that you feel badly about, things that you may have said or done to yourself or to others, thank your higher self for allowing you to see that you are in fact imperfect and there will be times when you mess up.
Apologize to yourself and let it go. Practice this often, whenever you find yourself beating up on yourself about something you did or did not do, accept that the deed is done and it cannot be undone, forgive yourself and move on to find a solution if necessary, if it something that another action cannot rectify then you must let it go, for it is in fact in the past already and remind yourself that no one can change the past.
This is not meant to relinquish you from responsibility, it in fact making you more responsible, but in a more positive and focused way. Often responsibility is seen as something negative, something to be endured, but being responsible can also be remarkably freeing and in terms of forgiveness if you take responsibility for forgiving yourself you will learn what it is to live without the burden on guilt, blame, fear and shame.
When you have mastered the loving act of forgiving yourself, your heart will then be open to forgiving others.
This is part of a natural progression on your journey to enlightenment, to forgive others means to take away yet a bit more control from ego and allow your higher self the possession of your thoughts and actions that it deserves.
Forgiving others shows you have the ability to open up and let love flow through you.
It shows that you no longer bear grudges and carry hatred in your heart, you will recognize the connection that you have to every other soul in the universe, you will not feel separate and alone, you will no longer allow the actions of others to instill bitterness within you and because you are radiating love despite what is happening around you, in turn love is what you will receive, thus eliminating the need to forgive.
The law of attraction states that you receive that which you send out, so if you project only forgiveness and love, you will only attract others that do the same and so ultimately you will not encounter behavior that warrants your forgiveness.
But all of this cannot be until you learn first to forgive yourself.
and the best gift that i ever give to my self as at now ... forgiveness... pray for better tomorrow